No Shame Day

I’ve suffered severe bouts of depression since I began taking steroids 20 months ago. I take the steroids because they keep my throat from closing. They help me breathe. They also make me fat. But worse than fat, they make my mood swing wildly, which sometimes leaves me emotionally spent. I worry about how this affects my daughter. I’ve traveled to treat the thyroid cancer which had me taking steroids, mostly to spare my daughter. Chemo in NYC, radiation in L.A. One night I felt a roid rage coming on so strong I got in my car and drove from Detroit to Chicago. I left the house so quickly I forgot cash or my ATM card, but my daughter had a math test the next day and I was afraid I’d yell at her for something small, such was the oncoming rage. I don’t know if driving to Chicago, or getting treatments thousands of miles away from home were logical or the irrational ideas I’ve had since being on steroids, but that’s how I handled it. But if I’m honest, my depression, though less severe, began when I was a teenager, and my recent illness only amplified it.

Should anyone care, and I know many of you actually do, I’m now cancer free. I’ve had to come on and off the steroids several times this year. When I come off, my weight and mood normalize, but at night my throat begins to close in on itself and I can’t breathe. I hope to be off of them completely by my September birthday. Then I’d like to get back into therapy to talk about what this past two and a half years of illness has been for me. 

No Shame Day.

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  1. m1ghtykn1ght reblogged this from dreamhampton1 and added:
    I feel less alone when others speak about there...especially public figures.
  2. diamondsareforeva said: Omg Dream. Thank you so much for sharing. We never know a person’s private struggle do we. I’m inspired to live moe honestly.
  3. chloehilliard reblogged this from dreamhampton1 and added:
    Bravery
  4. anythingimaginableispossible said: Prayers and positive thoughts are with you Dream. Stay strong. x
  5. lilisheree reblogged this from dreamhampton1 and added:
    Praying for Ms. Hampton!
  6. naughtydred said: Love.
  7. warsanshire said: I love you
  8. jamericanpomp said: Thank you for sharing this private part of yourself. Definitely an inspiration!
  9. jonubian reblogged this from dreamhampton1
  10. angfreely reblogged this from dreamhampton1
  11. racework reblogged this from dreamhampton1
  12. thoughtsofalady reblogged this from dreamhampton1
  13. soulpowervenuslove said: Thank you for your raw and beautiful honesty sister. Infinite blessings.